The whole hog With Jacqueline Hogge

TRUST is a tricky thing, in that once itâ€â„¢s broken it is very, very hard to repair. When that trust is placed in the people you employ to mind the little people in your life, it can be almost impossible to regain if it comes undone. Last weekâ€â„¢s revelation that a journalist had uncovered examples of â€Ëœappalling treatmentâ€â„¢ of children at three crèches, two in Dublin and one in Wicklow, delivered shock headlines and hysterical reactions across the board. To be fair to the parents of the child, who was allegedly shoved back down during nap time, hysterical was a natural and appropriate response. But thereâ€â„¢s a sense of a nation jumping on the bandwagon, in what is being branded as yet another faux pas by the much-maligned HSE, for failing to uncover such malpractice. Thereâ€â„¢s also a sense of déjà vu, as the scandalised nursing home sector almost came undone some years ago when far more scandalous mistreatment of the elderly was uncovered, again at the hands of a covert TV crew. This weekâ€â„¢s Prime Time documentary was almost incidental to the story, as the seeds had already been sown with talk of Gardaí and HSE investigations into the crèches concerned. Childcare is such an important business, as it is the handing over of care and control of your children on a daily basis. For most of us who use the service, itâ€â„¢s not a choice but a necessity, and one that carries its fair share of guilt for those who would rather not pay someone else for the privilege of caring for their children. Iâ€â„¢ve been through the torturous process of choosing childcare three times since I first encountered the working mother gig. First time around it was an emotional rollercoaster as I unexpectedly discovered I quite liked the stay-at-home aspect of my new life as a mammy. I spent every day of my post partum maternity leave wishing a lottery win would solve my dilemma of not wanting to leave my perfect little girl for the wilds of the workplace. The small matter of failing to purchase a weekly lotto ticket didnâ€â„¢t do my chances of landing a windfall any favours, so when Lady Muck was ten months old I found myself in the horrible situation of handing her over to another person five mornings a week, a scenario that involved daily tears, from both mother and child. Things settled down after a few months, in that the child took to her new routine, as children tend to do a lot quicker than us adults. My initial tears of separation anxiety morphed into cries of jealousy, as her pudgy little arms reached out for her carer as soon as we came through the door. Mama was forgotten about before I had time to hand over her changing bag, and that added to my guilt in droves. The fact she trusted her carers and went into their arms as willingly and as happy as she did should have reassured me. But the fact I wasnâ€â„¢t the one feeding or changing her, never mind indulging in the cuddles and playtime I had delegated to strangers, was a bugbear that drove me around the bend for a very long time. What did reassure me was the fact the crèche concerned was run by a woman who as a mother and grandmother understood children and employed staff she had found to have an underlying compassion and way with children, that unless it is inherent, the person has no business offering their skills to the profession. Fast forward a year, and a change in career for mammy meant the whole process began again as we needed a new crèche in a new location. The distressing morning handover resumed, as it took another few months for both mother and child to settle into the new arrangement, which was thrown up in the air a year or so later when Boy Wonder entered the fray. The problem with the whole business of childcare is that it is different in every imaginable way to other services. I appreciate those who offer childcare services arenâ€â„¢t doing it for the good of their health and thereâ€â„¢s a financial consideration underpinning the service they provide. But when the stock in trade concerned is children, who in their youngest years cannot speak for themselves or defend themselves in any way, to my mind, cheques and balances need to take a back seat. That has to be the most beguiling aspect of the current controversy, for those families who are directly affected. Not only must it enrage a parent to see another adult mistreat their child, but to think the trust has been betrayed and they are paying for the disservice, in crippling amounts as it happens. Political and media responses to the Prime Time revelations have been a tad over reactive, as has been reflected by the majority of parents whose opinions has been sought have been quite measured. Frances Fitzgerald is right, the allegations surrounding the staff at the crèches filmed in the programme are â€Ëœdeeply disturbingâ€â„¢ but so too is the child psychologist David Coleman who points out that even parents arenâ€â„¢t perfect when it comes to their children. Iâ€â„¢m in no way defending anyone who sees shoving an infantâ€â„¢s head back into their cot as an appropriate way of getting the little rascal to sleep. But people arenâ€â„¢t perfect, and everyone does have bad days when children of all ages know exactly how to press your buttons. With over 4,000 crèches providing an essential service to families across the country, my one hope is that the investigation into these crèches is expedited as quickly as possible, and the findings made as public as the initial furore over the alleged abuse. After that, itâ€â„¢s down to parental instinct when it comes to separating the wheat from the chaff of those people you entrust the care of your children to.