Fianna Fáil going after the pink vote — it's enough to make Dev blush
I'VE seen it all now. Fianna Fáil courting the pink vote. The party has always resembled a political traffic light in its chameleon-like ability to adapt. Red, when they repeatedly stole Labour's clothes whenever that party appeared in the ascendant, orange, when it came to courting the Loyalists, and green, at the annual Ard Fheis, when the nationalist card would be played to rally the troops. But pink, I think, is a shade too far. I nearly choked on my tea on Saturday night when some brazen hussy on RTÉ announced that Fianna Fáil had adopted a motion in favour, wait for it, of gay marriage. This is no temporary little arrangement like Albert Reynolds's shack-up with the PDs. This is the real deal, for life, for better or better, like a political pension. [private] And as if that's not bad enough, they threw in adoption rights for gays as well. Where are they going with this? Gay cumanns? David Norris for Taoiseach? Brian Cowen as a gay icon? It's the end of the political world, as we knew it. I can handle Michéal Martin's mea culpa â€â€ contrary to popular perception, sorry is not the hardest word. In fact, when used expediently, it's the easiest. We flushed the economy, the country and the future of hundreds of thousands of young people down the toilet so our pals from the Galway tent â€â€ they haven't gone away, you know â€â€ could keep it rolling in, and keep bankrolling our party. Sorry about that. There, we said it. Draw a line under it. Now can we get back to getting back into power and starting the brutal comedy all over again? But timing in politics is everything, as Éamon Ó CuÃÂv can tell you. No sooner did Fianna Fáil play the pink card and open the door for gay marriages and what not, then the Catholic Church came out and spoiled the party. Not, of course, our own tree-hugging clerics who'd marry a Mayo man to a Galway woman if there was a good dinner and a bit of a hooly on offer afterwards. No, the stand against gay marriage is being made from across the water in perfidious Albion. There, top clergy are calling on the godless Brits to oppose such unions. Their head man in Scotland, Cardinal Keith O'Brien, who sounds like one of our own, has accused the Tories and Co of trying to 'redefine reality' by their support for gay marriage. If he really wanted to experience 'redefining reality' he should have been in the RDS over the weekend. While Martin's apology didn't go so far as to cover the bank guarantee, blanket apologies are, after all, very dangerous things, he did manage the S word while Éamon Ó CuÃÂv sat sphinx-like in the audience, eyeing the podium and muttering tiocfaidh ár lá. Galway West's answer to Putin sees himself as leadership material and a representative of the authentic Fianna Fáil. Unfortunately for him, the last thing the electorate want to see right now is the return of the real Fianna Fáil. No amount of massaging the TÃÂr na nÓg doughnut around Michéal Martin to impress TV viewers can disguise the reality that the age profile is heading in the opposite direction to rejuvenation. O CuÃÂv's intervention couldn't have come at a worse time. Sinn Féin were blushing over cartridge-gate and who pulls them out of the fire but Dev Óg, depriving his party of the, nowadays, very rare opportunity to take the high moral ground. That said, the Millward Brown Lansdowne poll conducted for the Sunday Independent showed that the electorate may be willing to forgive Fianna Fáil at some stage, though not just yet. This may be because of a lack of options in the political field. If you don't fancy a Sinn Féin-led government, then where do you look? It's either a resurfaced Fianna Fáil or Ming Flanagan. Despite their doing well in popularity polls, the electorate, it seems, is still reluctant to embrace Sinn Féin. But while gays fared well over the weekend under the new, all embracing Fianna Fáil, there're some traditions that are still sacrosanct in the party. The notion of having a quota for wimmin candidates was a bridge too far for the party stalwarts. Standing a girleen from a dynasty when no male heir is available is all very well, but 30 per cent of all candidates to be women? They'll be refusing to make the tea next. To my suspicious mind the gay marriage issue is just to soften up the faithful for the real marriage shocker on the horizon. Fianna Fáil's best route off the political shelf is down the aisle with the big Fine Gael farmer. Woo and wed him, get the land in your name and then shag him into an early grave. Sometimes the old ways are the best. â€Â¢ â€Â¢ â€Â¢ We can't be bribed says Enda â€â€ but maybe a sweetener WHILE the rest of you can't be bribed on the forthcoming referendum, we in the media have no such qualms. We're greeting the announcement that we're about to be bamboozled, confused, threatened and lied to for the next few months as a gift from the gods. Referendums may be second best to elections for commentators such as yours truly, but they're still grist to our mill, and we've been busy whistling up possible scenarios since the Attorney General, that's women for you, (this is turning out to be an Albert Reynolds fest) shocked the political establishment by biting the hand that fed her. Normally those holding this political sinecure have to go through the motions and then, after some face preserving humming and hawing, come down on the side the Government favours. He who pays the piper, and all that. But while the referendum is a headache for the Government it presents a open goal for Sinn Féin. They don't have to win; all they have to do is to put up a credible fight. The two polls published this week show public support at 60 per cent for a Yes vote and 40 per cent on the No side. At this early stage, this is not a comfortable position. If Sinn Féin can champion the No cause, and they have the organisation and the funding to do so effectively, they could easily eclipse Fianna Fáil in the public eye as the main opposition party. I've little doubt that the public isn't in any mood for a major falling out with our paymasters but such enforced pragmatism often masks an underlying layer of seething resentment. The fact is that this is going to be a confusing campaign â€â€ are we really voting for the European Stability Mechanism Treaty (ESM) or the Fiscal Compact Treaty? If it's the latter, as the Attorney General has suggested, then why has Enda Kenny already signed it? I know, yawn. But we'll soon be snowed under with this stuff. After two months of it we'll be lucky to get a 45 per cent turnout, could be closer to 40. And that's where Sinn Féin's organisational ability could come through. The party wouldn't claim to be able to sway over 50 per cent of the electorate but they know too well that they only have to aim at half the turnout. Muddy the waters, ensure most people completely tune out, and then make sure to get your own vote out on the day. Do, in other words, just what Fianna Fáil did in their heyday. As opposed to this, scaring the electorate that we'll be out on the side of the road eating grass if we don't vote for a second bailout, that, according to the Government, we won't need in the first place, will probably do the trick. I don't believe my vote will make a blind bit of difference one way or another, and I'm terrified already. Opportunities for comment aside, this is not a campaign I'm looking forward to. Who but wild-eyed fanatics and village idiots are going to knock on doors and pull people away from Coronation Street to try and sell this? On the other hand, if it does go down, it'll be a seismic shock for the Government and that could bring about a general election. Wishful thinking, maybe. There again, the thought might just make Enda and Co a little more receptive to a pre-poll sweetener. Not a bribe mind you, just a little sweetener. A few more referendums and we could be back in funds. Quote of the Week 'The voters have spoken â€â€ the bastards' â€â€ Richard Nixon [/private]