Operation Big Idiot and Jasper's runaway hot air balloon

Hello Boys and Girls, HOW are you all this week? I'm fine after my bit of a disaster on St Patrick's Day. Did you read about it in the papers? It is all a bit embarrassing. Aunt Molly is still mad. I haven't had cake for two weeks now and it's not because of Lent. What happened was, I wanted to see all the parades and, hard as I tried, I couldn't get anyone with a helicopter to fly me around. Then I saw a photo on the front of The Herald. It was of a big hot air balloon over Tuam. 'That's it,' I told Molly, I'm going to make my own balloon and fly over Co Galway and see all the parades. Molly said I was a bit of a hot air balloon myself and to shut up. I wasn't going anywhere, especially not high up in the air. But I got on the Net and looked up balloons. I came across a great site which explained how to build one. I was a bit confused by some of the instruction so I downloaded the file and took it over to my friend The Nutty Professor. He's as daft as a brush but very clever. His workshop is in a big barn near Kilconly. There we drew up our plan. I remembered the old marquee tent we have at Rose Cottage for summer parties. This we cut up and made into a giant balloon (I forgot to tell Molly). Eduardo, that's the Nutty Professor's real name, borrowed a big old laundry basket for us to ride in from the university where he works and made a gas contraption out of complicated stuff. This heated up the air which went into the balloon and then, as you know from science, hot air rises and off we went. That was the easy part. Unfortunately, with all our excitement we only figured out how to get it up, not down again. So on the morning of St Patrick's Day I loaded up a big picnic hamper and set off for the Nutty Professor'sworkshop. I told Molly and all our friends to keep an eye on the sky during the parade. They thought I was gone mad, and maybe they were right. Eduardo and I got the balloon off the ground all right but when we tried to steer it over Abbeyknockmoy for the first parade of the day, the thing wouldn't co-operate. It just went higher and higher and the earth looked smaller and smaller. The views were great but I was getting a bit worried. 'Nothing to worry about my friend. Just a minor glitch. I'll soon have it sorted,' Eduardo said as he scratched his head. You probably know the rest. We just drifted further and further away and pretty soon there was an all out air and sea rescue mission launched. Lots of Civil Defence and Order of Malta crews and even some scout and guide troops had to abandon their parades to help search for us. They called it Operation Big Idiot. I wonder why? We were really getting worried, especially when we drifted out to sea. Fortunately, the wind blew us in again and when we finally came down we found ourselves stuck on the top of Croagh Patrick in Mayo. I suppose it was the right place to be on St Patrick's Day but the Gardai were not very amused. We got a right telling off. The Chief Garda said we behaved like children. But Molly said that was unfair because none of the children she knew and who read the Tuam Herald would behave as we did. After some discussion it was agreed by everyone that we behaved like idiots, not children. I'm still in the doghouse over it all and everybody is laughing at me because there was a photo of us being rescued in all the papers. Oh dear, in trouble again. Bye for now, Uncle Jasper CROSSWORD Thank you for all your entries. The first name out of the hat this week is Patrick Coneran from Carrowleen, Kilkerrin. Good boy Patrick the postman will bring your prize and say hello to Grace for me. Now for this week's clues. Across 1. The rescue leader's bleeper often Bâ€â€Ã¢€â€s. 2. A mistake Eâ€â€-r. 3. You can â€â€- lots from a balloon. 4. Jasper fell Aâ€â€Ã¢€â€- in front of the fire. Down 1. It Bâ€â€Ã¢€â€s my heart to say goodbye. 2. On school days we get up Eâ€â€-y. 3. Tiddles Pâ€â€-s when you stroke him. 4. The shepherd minds his Sâ€â€Ã¢€â€.